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Sports Analogies
Starring Scott Michael Foster & Vincent Rodriguez III
Written by Jack Dolgen and Adam Schlesinger

Nathaniel:
WE’RE DOWN FOR THE COUNT
IT’S DOWN TO THE WIRE
WE CAN’T DROP THE BALL
WE GOTTA AIM A LITTLE HIGHER

Josh:
‘CAUSE WHEN WE’RE ON THE ROPES
AND IT’S OUR TURN AT BAT
WE GOTTA THROW A HAIL MARY
GOTTA GO TO THE MAT

Nathaniel & Josh:
SPORTS ANALOGIES
SPORTS ANALOGIES

Nathaniel:
WE’VE FOUND THE COMMON GROUND
IN ALL MEN’S PERSONALITIES

Josh:
WE TALK A BIG GAME
THAT’S HOW WE RELATE

Nathaniel & Josh:
IT’S THE EASIEST WAY FOR MEN TO
COMMUNICATE

Nathaniel:
HIKE!

Josh:
IT’S PAR FOR THE COURSE

Nathaniel:
WHEN YOU’RE IN THE HOME STRETCH

Josh:
TO SWING FOR THE FENCES

Nathaniel:
WITH A FULL COURT PRESS

Josh:
WE’RE ON THE ONE YARD LINE

Nathaniel:
INCHES TO GO

Josh:
SO YOU’LL PITCH AND I’LL CATCH

Nathaniel:
‘CAUSE IT’S OUR LEAD TO BLOW

Nathaniel & Josh:
LET’S USE MORE
SPORTS ANALOGIES
SPORTS ANALOGIES
THEY HELP MEN COPE WITH LIFE’S
HARSH REALITIES

Josh:
LET’S SPEW MORE CLICHÉS

Nathaniel:
‘TIL WE RUN OUT THE CLOCK

Josh:
JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL

Nathaniel:
THE PUCK

Josh:
AND MY SHUTTLECOCK

Nathaniel & Josh:
HEY!
SOMETIMES, WHEN WE WATCH SPORTS,
WE GET SAD
AND WE MAKE IT SEEM LIKE
WE’RE SAD ABOUT THE SPORTS

Josh:
BUT WE’RE NOT REALLY CRYING
ABOUT THE GAME AT ALL

Nathaniel:
WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT
A GAME OF BASKETBALL

Nathaniel & Josh:
WE’RE SAD ABOUT OUR DADS
WE COULDN’T TALK TO OUR DADS
UNLESS WE USED
SPORTS ANALOGIES
SPORTS ANALOGIES
MEN FEEL SAFE WITH THESE
EMPTY GENERALITIES

Nathaniel:
LET’S GO FOR THE GOLD

Josh:
AND THEN WE’LL HIT THE LOCKERS

Nathaniel & Josh:
WE’RE AMERICAN MEN
WE LIKE ALL SPORTS
EXCEPT FOR SOCCER
‘CAUSE SOCCER’S JUST A BUNCH
OF FOREIGNERS RUNNING AROUND
YEAH!

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